To blog or not to blog…

Since I can remember, Maria & I have always wanted to help people. I think we get this attribute from our father, because throughout our lives he’s helped many people for nothing in return but to see them smile. Then again, anyone in our family would bend over backwards to help out someone in need.

We started this blog almost a year and a half ago because we wanted to share our experiences of eating healthy and staying active in hopes to inspire others to hop on board. We really wanted to help people get healthy and in return be happy with themselves.

I will stop working for my family’s business soon to be a stay at home mom. I feel truly blessed that I will have that opportunity and be able to be by Roberto’s side every moment of his first few years and watch all the little things he will do as he grows. I really want to do at least 1 year of online schooling during this time to learn even more about nutrition and become a health coach. I’d love to help people change their lifestyles and I think it would be the perfect job to have once my kids aren’t toddlers anymore.

Lately, Maria & I have been feeling that we’re not really inspiring people with our website and maybe just blogging about our lifestyles is a waste of time. We’ve made semi-drastic changes to our diet over this time and it makes some people uncomfortable when they’re around us. We don’t eat nearly as much sugar as we used to and we eat very little grains now. Family parties can be awkward sometimes when people are used to you hoarding the sweet table! Smile We take our health seriously and really focus on nourishing our bodies with nutritious foods and preventing illnesses and diseases. We’ve recently had multiple occasions where we felt people that we know were judging us on what we eat or how we look.

I, personally, have struggled with comments in regards to my pregnancy.

I don’t want to go into too many details, but it’s happened more than once where someone will make a comment on how “small” my belly looks and it’s because I “eat too healthy” or “workout like crazy.”

Yes, I know that my weight gain hasn’t been typical and on the low side, but it really puts me down when someone makes a negative comment about it. I know we will all be judged in many areas throughout our lives, but when the comments have to do with my unborn son, it’s a different story.

It really bothers me that someone would think for a split second that I’m causing Roberto harm. I’ve never had any past eating disorders and have no problem eating when I’m hungry. (Which is all the time lately!) I’ve been eating plenty during my pregnancy and getting in a lot of calories, fat and nutrients. I also don’t consider walking 3 days a week, strength training for 45 minutes twice a week and maybe a day of yoga as working out like crazy. That’s just staying active… I’m not working out to burn calories or fat, but to stay strong and keep my endurance up for the birth of my child.

Sure, I could stuff my face with donuts, twinkies and cupcakes all day and maybe gain more weight, but that would just be plain silly. Something tells me that sugar and processed foods wouldn’t be the best thing for a baby who’s brain is growing at a significant rate right now. My doctor is not concerned at all and tells me at every single appointment that everything looks great and I’m doing everything right. He never mentioned anything about me not gaining or growing enough. I brought it up to him, and he told me that everything on my charts looked perfect.

Why do we always have to judge one another and make unnecessary comments? It’s either “WOW you’re huge” or “OMG you’re so small, are you not eating enough?”  It’s not often we hear anyone say you look just perfect, keep up the good work! Maria and I aren’t the “speak your mind” kind of people. We truly believe that if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. It’s not about a right to speak your mind, but about being kind and not judging one  another. You can’t tell a person’s story just by looking at them from the outside.

I feel like it’s only the people we know that read our blog that make the negative comments. I just think it’s funny because I personally think that I’ve been growing slowly but surely. There’s not a night that goes by, where I change into my pjs, and Rinaldo doesn’t tell me how big my belly is getting!  People at work, who don’t know about our blog, tell me each week that I’m getting bigger and bigger and have never said anything negative or about me being “small.”

Well, I don’t want to go on forever here, but just wanted to update on how we’ve been feeling lately. This has all affected me because I’m trying so hard to grow a healthy baby and make sure to get all the recommended foods in daily (It’s not fun eating 2 eggs everyday…I’m getting sick of them)  and it hurts when someone makes a comment that I’m not doing it right or for them to think I’m restricting myself. I guess I just had enough this week and had some thoughts that it’s not worth it to blog about our personal lives and have people judge us or make assumptions about us.

Maria feels the same way in regards to people judging her on what she does and doesn’t eat, but that’s an entirely different story… ha!  She actually gets very angry and  protective whenever I mention any negative comments that I get. I guess it’s because she knows just how hard I’m working to nourish Roberto while he’s growing inside of me. She’s the first person I’d go to when I’d notice that the scale wasn’t going up, but I was eating so much! I honestly never in a million years thought I’d have this problem. Maria & I used to joke ALL the time that when we got pregnant we’d gain 10 pounds by the time we just peed on the stick.. We never had problems gaining weight in the past, that’s for sure!

Thanks to all of you who commented on our status update on Facebook. You truly made us feel good with all your love and support and we’re going to reconsider giving up the blog. We’re still not sure what we want to do in the end, but we do know that we loved blogging for the most part and have met so many wonderful people and learned so much in the process. I also want to note that many people close to me have said such nice things to me and how much they love my pregnancy posts! I need to focus more on those people.

Since I missed my 30 week update this week, here’s a picture just to update you!IMGP7119

As Ellen DeGeneres says at the end of her show, Be Kind To One Another.

Do you ever feel like giving up your blog? Sometimes we just want our lives to be more private, but on the other hand we love sharing our experiences and tips with everyone.

How do you handle negative comments in  your life?

Lisa
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  • http://www.thrive-style.com/ Lisakthrives

    I can’t say much at the moment from my phone, but I know u know how I feel about this and about u and your sis. You have my support 100%, and I know u are doing exactly what Roberto needs. He is one of the luckiest babies I know!
    I have thought about quitting blogging–sometimes I get really self conscious about doing it and wonder why I think ppl might care what I think or say. But then I get some positive feedback or I think of the friends I’ve made.
    And now I’m going to sit on the beach and drink my kombucha :-)

    • Anonymous

       Thanks Lisa! The positive feedback is truly amazing and I think we need to focus on that more! Thanks for being so supportive of us and we’re so lucky to call you our “friend.”

      Hope you’re relaxing a lot on your vacation because you sure do need it since you’re always working!!

  • Marianna

    I get comments about being huge….. I can’t imagine the feedback I would get if I blogged. I’m 5 months pregnant and just this past weekend a stranger asked how far along I was and then said “you are huge already.” I gained a lot of weight with my first kid and didn’t lose it all. So with this pregnancy I am working out to maintain my weight. I try my best to eat healthy and yes I do slip up every once in awhile but I get back on track and hit the gym. I wear a heart monitor and keep the baby safe at all times. I guess no matter what you do there will always be someone who is ready to criticize when they should mind their own business. I’m hard on myself about my weight, having strangers tell me I’m huge doesn’t help. But I’m getting better at ignoring them and as soon as I have this baby, I’m eager to start a new intense workout program so that I feel good about myself again. Your blogs keep me going and I love kale chips thanks to you guys!!!!

    • Anonymous

       Thanks Marianna! We’re glad you love kale chips! yay!! :-)

      Anyways, Congrats on your second pregnancy! We didn’t know and that’s so exciting! I’m so sorry that you’ve been dealing with negative comments as well. Our sister, Phyllis, had that same issues you did. Many people would ask her if she was having twins (when they knew she wasn’t) and I seriously just wanted to punch them in the face for her. People can be so ignorant and just plain stupid…

      You should be proud of yourself for trying to maintain your weight and working out at a safe level during this pregnancy. It’s definitely not easy to stay on track. I splurge more on the weekends but also make sure to get right back on track. Also, some days I just don’t feel like exercising and I’m never hard on myself if I’d rather lay on the couch! ;)

      Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and definitely contact us if you want some advice on how to get in shape once the baby is here and you’re recovered. You definitely need to start feeling good about yourself again because life is simply too short to not be enjoying it to the fullest!

  • http://theguiltlesslife.wordpress.com/ Anna @ The Guiltless Life

    Thanks for your honesty, and for being brave enough to write this post. I’m honestly sorry you’re having to deal with such hostility. If it helps – I don’t know if it’s strictly to do with the blog. Perhaps right now because people can read more intimate info about you, but one thing I have heard from all my friends who are pregnant/have children is that there is a bit of a judgy mommy syndrome that happens once you become a mom – people suddenly feel they are entitled to comment on how you are raising your child; not just people you know either but total strangers in the supermarket! I am always blown away when I hear these stories but people lose all sense of personal privacy and just jump right in with judgmental comments or unsolicited advice. So it may be just something that happens when people see that you’re a first-time mom and think it’s their right to bestow their ‘wisdom’ on you. I hope that it fades once the newness of it all is over, and if you do decide to give up the blog I would understand why. I just hope you don’t as I enjoy reading!

    There are times I think about giving it up – not often but sometimes – when I feel like I am just exhausted and tired. Because honestly the blog is the one thing I CAN give up without major repercussions (loss of salary, loss of friends etc). But usually I just need a break or a holiday and to be honest, when I get really excited, it’s rarely over my job and more likely over my blog. So I have to look at it that way too!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for thoughtful words Anna! I haven’t any comments from strangers yet but I do know how common that is!

      I always want to give up blogging when I’m exhausted too and I agree that taking a break is usually good enough!

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  • http://twitter.com/rach5834 Rachel M

    I’m a fairly recent follower, and I have to say I don’t see a thing wrong with what you’re doing with your pregnancy and for your child.  :)  (not that my opinion matters!)  You’re an adorable pregnant woman, and a great role model.  I’ve been attempting to live a paleo/primal lifestyle, and will agree with you guys that sugar and grains are processed and not healthy/necessary to live a healthy life!  I’m not sure if you guys are going for a paleo type blog, but maybe check it out!  There’s a pretty big following ;)

    • Anonymous

      Hi Rachel! So glad you’re a new follower and that you took the time to comment. It means a lot! I appreciate all your sweet words and I will take a look at your blog. I don’t like to give a label to the way I eat but it is pretty close to paleo most of the time!

  • http://paijeisamonster.wordpress.com/ Paije

    I really hope you don’t stop blogging! I just found your blog and look forward to your posts! I know how you feel though – I just had my baby 11 weeks ago and it’s amazing how much people think they know what is right for your baby that don’t even know you. I was pregnant at the same time as 2 girls from work and constantly got the “why aren’t you as big as so and so” and got called out for eating “too much green stuff and not even protein”. It’s hard not to take it personally.
    I have thought about stopping blogging but right now it’s only because I hardly have time! Having a baby is hard work :) I hope things get better for you both xo

    • Anonymous

      Hi Paije! We love to hear from new followers! Congrats on the birth of your baby! It’s so great to hear from people that can relate to you and appreciate your encouragement!

  • http://www.thefitnessdish.com/ Laury

    Oh, ladies.

    I know the feeling of wanting to quit blogging due to being judged. I actually found a site that was baching me (and other bloggers) 3 months after I had Ella saying how “horrible” I looked, and how “I’m a trainer…I don’t care if she just had a baby…it’s her job!” I was devastated and right then and there wanted to shut it all down. I have a long history of being self conscious and have worked hard to have body confidence and hearing that from strangers on the internet, it just, really hurt me. To know you put your life out there and never considering the criticism you are opening yourself up to!

    That said. I truly think you are doing what is best for your baby. I was pregnant, as you know haha, and I got a lot of comments. I gew just fine, but I did watch me diet (I could EAT don’t get me wrong) but I do not eat meat, chicken, etc etc and I got comments from clients and others how I needed to eat a steak. It used to make me SO angry! Not to “go there” but I would see so many soon to be moms eating absolute garbage, and use “cravings” as an excuse. Like entire ice cream cakes with fake food coloring and whatever. I didn’t judge them. But I choose not eat more plant based and I’m a bad mom? I got plenty of protein and I am knowledgeable in nutrition. I made it my JOB to eat well for my baby and I KNOW you are doing the same. You know inside what you are doing is best. You know you are eating what’s best to grow a beautiful healthy baby.

    There was a girl I kind of know, through my in laws, and I happened to run into her at yoga months after we had babies (we gave birth the same time). She is half my size, and went on and on about how she gained only 17 pound when pregnant (I gained 44 and was small before also) and how at the end she would go to the doctor and not understand how the scale was going up…SERIOUSLY??!! You were pregnant!?? No one saw a red flag there and told her that’s not okay to restrict? Anyway…that’s someone people should be concerned for, not someone who is eating so healthy and exercising and doing a great job. I don’t know who’s saying these things to you and under what circumstance but just try not to let it get to you. I know it’s hard, especially when pregnant. I know how it feels!

    If you need to chat/vent I’m an email away!  I hope you decide to keep up with your blog. Maybe take a break and come back. I scaled down my blogging a lot, and my personal posts a lot…. and I feel less stressed about what came with it!

    XOXO

    • http://www.thefitnessdish.com/ Laury

       eeek at  my typos!

    • Anonymous

      I cannot believe that there was a site that was baching you Laury!! So crazy. I definitely would’be hit rock bottom and am so surprised on how strong you were to pull through that. People can be SO mean!

      I also cannot believe that girl you know being surprised when she would gain weight and see the scale go up!! Wow, makes me feel so much better that I actually wanted to gain weight and it’s definitely getting easier now that I’m in my last 2 months!

      Thanks so much for taking the time to write this comment, it truly means a lot of have such great “blends” and know that you have my back!
      xoxo

  • http://lisalately.com/ Lisa

    Oh no! I am so sorry you are feeling judged and getting some negative comments. That is simply not nice at all. Boo. It is your pregnancy and only you and your doctor should dictate how it is going! I think you look amazing, and are a beautiful and glowing pregnant woman. I love your blog and totally respect your decision to continue or not! xo

    • Anonymous

      Thank you so much Lisa!

  • http://lauravirginia.me/ Laura @ Meet Virginia

    Lisa – THANK YOU for your honesty!  The blog world could use so, so much more of it!  I have the to blog or not to blog debate with myself at least once a week, so I completely understand.  I would, of course, be so sad for you guys to stop blogging, but you have to do what is best for YOU.  Either way, we’ll have to keep in touch!

    • Anonymous

      Thank YOU Laura!! I know we don’t always stay in contact as much, but you’re still one of the sweetest bloggers I know just so you know!

  • http://thisitalianfamily.wordpress.com/ Rach

    Oh Lisa, I am so sorry that you are dealing with so much negativity. I will never understand how people feel they have the right the judge anyone else. Especially the way people can make cruel comments. Like you, I was raised with “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” and still live that way. Spewing hatred doesn’t help anyone. I will understand if you guys choose to give up blogging, but know that I will miss you both. I have loved getting to know you guys and your family through this blog. I enjoy reading about your day to day and recipes. You guys inspire me. 

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for your kind words Rach!

  • Anonymous

    I’m like you, not gaining the “normal” amount of weight during this pregnancy and I’ve heard some comments about that, but mostly from envy than critique. maybe I’m surrounded by intuitional people that don’t usually think that gaining 25-35 lbs is necessary, but the opposite, in some countiries, 20 lb is the recommended amount.
    I can hear you. about getting sick of two eggs a day, I’m doing that because I really don’t like any kind of animal source of protein, even less before I got pregnant. I also feel that im doing my best to nourish the baby and still being comfortable with myself.
    I don’t receive many negative comments so far, maybe because I don’t pay them attention, or maybe its just my personality, that if I’m sure what I’m doing, I ignore others comments.

    • Anonymous

      I have heard how in other countries they don’t even tell you a certain amount of weight that you should gain. I usually don’t pay attention to negative comments too, but this time it just got to me! :

  • Montei

    “Haters gonna hate”

  • http://www.yourdailygrace.com/ Grace

    Very and I mean very few people read my blog, mostly my family and friends. Last semester as I worked toward graduation I practically did not blog at all and I considered giving it up all together because well…who really cares? But in the end I think I blog for myself. I don’t really help people with my blog, I blog about what I do and I really like reading people’s blog about what they do so it’s okay with me! Since very few people read my blog I don’t get a lot of judgement just nice comments usually. I guess I’m very lucky. 

    I’m sorry to hear you all receive negative feedback. I think you are both beautiful woman and are living an inspiring lifestyle. Every time I see your food on here or Instagram- I want some! I struggle with a sweet tooth and to be honest would love to have the same restraint you both have, I’m working on it! If the people leaving negative comments would read up on it they would stop judging and know that you are living incredibly healthy lives and that is what is right for you!

    I think it’s great you are sharing your feelings and addressing these issues instead of ignoring them! P.s. You look glowing and just the right size for you, Maria:)

    • Anonymous

      Thanks so much for your sweet words Grace! You’re always so nice! I read your blog, but don’t comment much anymore just because I don’t have the time! I hope you continue blogging as well since it’s something you enjoy!

  • Lindsay @ Fuel My Family

    who cares what other people say. If you are honestly eating enough for a healthy pregnancy then don’t worry about what others think. These days people gain SO much weight while pregnant and its just not necessary. I gained 24 and 21 and had perfect 7 lb babies! And yes, I often do feel the blogging community, while is usualy great, can be very judgmental and comparative.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks Linsay! That’s great to hear! Yes, people can be very judgemental which is not good at all

  • http://twitter.com/Healthy_Coconut Lea

    Just remember the reasons why you started to blog in the first place. Mine was to help inspire others (my friends and family mostly) and to show people that living a healthy style is not that hard.  

    But I also understand if the side comments are hurtful, especially if they come from others who are close to you. YOU know that you are doing your best for your baby and I think that is all that matters. In my experience, the judgmental comments comes from other people’s insecurities and they are just taking it out on you. I try to remember every time I’m in your position.

  • Heather @ Fit Mama Real Food

    You look beautiful Lisa! I totally agree with the notion of that if you don’t have anything to say don’t say anything at all. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with negative comments, especially in regards to your pregnancy. Staying active is keeping both you and your baby healthy, and I’m so excited you get to stay home with your little man!

  • http://www.amysnutritionbynature.com/ Amy-Nutrition by Nature

    I have very much enjoyed your blog. Im sorry that you have had to deal with negative comments, especially while pregnant. Everyone carries different.
    It bugs me to no end when someone says to me “how far along are you?” followed by “your so big.” 
    I am 35 weeks along and have gained 28 lbs, that doesnt seem “too big” to me. 

    I think all comments should be kept quite (especially towards a pregnant woman) unless it is “you are beautiful!!”  Which by the way you are!

  • Trainer Kjirsten

    Lisa, this is a great post and I hope you continue to blog. I think people who get on you for not gaining “a ton” of weight while pregnant are just jealous to be honest. I gained 22lbs with my pregnancy and my doctor’s weren’t concerned at all. I remember people telling me that I was too small to be so far along and would tell me to go eat a horse and it bothered me a bit, but I just tried to brush the comments away. I think pregnancy is the time in your life to be the healthiest you can be. Why would you eat junk and processed foods that wont help the baby? From all your pregnancy posts I’ve read, you eat a balanced healthy diet and also get in exercise, which coming froma personal trainer is SO important! A lot of people who get pregnant, use their pregnancy as a reason to stop working out, but in actuality you need to be working out more than ever to prepare your body for birth!
    After I had Cameryn I would get comments and emails with people scolding me for not eating enough as a nursing mom. This baffled me as I was producing enough milk for my baby and also I was able to pump 5-10 ounces a day. In addition I was eating plenty of calories in a healthy way. The comments and emails would tell me to eat and that I was hurting my daughter by losing my baby weight too quickly and that I wasn’t feeding her enough. This hurt me more than anything, because like you said, my daughhter is off limits and it hurt that someone was questioning my motherhood and basically telling me I wasn’t feeding my daughter. After I got over the inital shock, I decided not to put any thought into those harsh emails or comments. I don’t know these people and they have no right to make false accusations. I wasn’t going to waste my time on them.
    Stay positive and anyone with any common sense can see what a great job you’re doing growing your little man! This should be one of the best times of your life, and don’t let anyone take that away from you or make you feel like you’re not doing a great job! Before you know it, you little man will be snuggled in your arms! :)

  • http://twitter.com/VeggieNextDoor Diana B.

    First, I am SO excited for you that you have the opportunity to be a stay at home Mom for Roberto. That is so wonderful and I would be so lucky if I have the same opportunity one day. I also think you will make an excellent health coach! Your blog has been a healthy inspiration for me ever since I discovered it. While I don’t eat the same as you and Maria, having you as examples has definitely nudged me in the right direction of eating less sugar and trying new foods (like Socca – YUM!). With you two ahead of the curve on all things nutrition, I have definitely learned quite a bit from your blog!

    It’s sad that people are sending negative comments your way but I think it is great that you were able to write an honest, heartfelt post to share with them how you feel. Hopefully that will help to change the dynamic. I also think it helps to think beyond their negative comments to the reasons why they are making them – you aren’t doing anything wrong – they just might not understand nutrition as well as you do or perhaps they are simply intimidated.

    Hang in there!

  • http://www.frivmini.com/ friv

    Very useful and supportive article. I wish I can do all of that in a short period of time.

  • http://www.yepi-yepi.com/ Yepi

    With you two ahead of the curve on all things nutrition, I have definitely learned quite a bit from your blog!

  • http://kizi-friv.kizi2.com/ kizi friv

    Wonderful post but I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic? Iíd be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Cheers!

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  • About Us

    Hi, welcome to Healthy Diaries and Thank You for stopping by! Our names are Maria & Lisa and we’re 26 year-old identical twin sisters. Our blog is a look into our lives as we live life being healthy and active. Find out more here...
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